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Bigamist to appear in every episode of ‘Married at First Sight’
“Sean’s unique life experiences will really add to the show,” said executive producer Aaron Jones, “as well as cutting down on camera and travel costs.” "Some people may argue his inclusion is an insult to the sanctity of marriage - and indeed the common good of all humanity - but hey, so is this whole fucking show."
Man dies doing what he hated
A grumpy Queanbeyan man has passed away while double-checking the inventory log on a warehouse computer system. The man "died doing what he hated most."
Discovery of shallow grave ends 18-year search for Wally
According to an unnamed source, the corpse was dressed in a faded, bloodstained red-and-white jumper, wearing round-rimmed glasses, and buried with a cane
The Chaser’s Guide to matching the right wine with your disappointing child
Parenting is hard. We all know that, and no-one knows it better than Chris Taylor, who’s never had kids. How does he juggle the demands of a high-pressure job with being a dad? Chris doesn’t have to
Capitalist elites cave in to protesters: Global utopia to begin immediately
Copies of an internal report, titled 'A simple solution to all the world's problems,' marked by the Secretariat of the G20 as 'Never to be released,' were distributed to journalists and over-joyed activists today
Bogan unaware his mullet is fashionable
"These chicks keep coming up to me and asking 'where'd ya hair cut? It's so cool!" said Franklin. "You'd think they'd never been to Carl's Discount Cuts."
Lunch-break worker breaches ATM etiquette
"I don't know how she was raised," said disgruntled queuer Nick Mendes. "But I was always taught not to waste everyone's lunch hour with on-screen account balances."
Lazy man hoping unironed clothes become fashionable
The 30-year-old has experimented with unironed T-shirts and jeans on the weekend, even going so far as to tell a female acquaintance that prominent wrinkles were "all the rage in Milan"
Marauding Mongols slowed by complex visa requirements
"Do we have to declare goat's entrails?"
English teacher writes novel about teaching English
'Dusty Textbooks & Liquid Paper' is yet to be picked up by a publisher
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