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TV weatherman admits his job describing what it’s like outside now completely pointless
"What’s the point of me doing this anymore? You can’t go outdoors."
Rugby Australia confirms 20-year decline due to coronavirus
Covid-19 has a lot to answer for
Byron Bay local astral projects himself 1.5 meters away
Healing crystals at the ready
Cruise ship passengers urged to self-isolate and think about what made them go on a cruise in the first place
The holidaymakers have been ordered to spend the next 14 days considering their life choices
Strict rationing introduced as ministers to be limited to two fuckups per day
We have to limit the number of gaffes we may usually be used to in order to make sure there are enough for everybody
Kevin Bacon isolated to avoid spread of Coronavirus in Hollywood
"He's six degrees from everyone!"
Barnaby Joyce plays down coronavirus risk to latest 47 colleagues he’s impregnated
Joyce's genes are now spreading more rapidly than COVID-
Quilton releases new aloe vera “extra soothing” line in hope it will help public calm the fuck down
"It describes the people and the product"
Entire workplace just happens to be subtly browsing by the toilets at 5pm
"Oh I brought this roll from home"
Local man ready for pandemic if it involves nothing but going to the toilet for 12 weeks
"That should cover us"
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