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MyHealth data to be stored on a highly-secure state-of-the-art Commodore 64
Minister Greg Hunt today told reporters the website was far too unreliable for hackers to be able gain access. "Our protection is flawless: if anyone tries to gain unauthorised access, chances are, they'll just end up with a 404: The Website Not Found message. You can't get more secure than that."
Scientists Announce A.I. Now Advanced Enough To Run Fish and Chips Store
Lazy sniffer dog just sits down next to any festival-goer with dreads
Mutant Ninja Turtles now experiencing mid-life crisis
David Leyonhjelm only got into the Senate by promising not to have sex with anyone
Man quits smoking his own cigarettes
Optus to buy ABC, and stream it on its app: “What can go wrong?”
Socceroos fans begin search for team they’ll support when Australia is eliminated
Local News
Suicidal whale constantly frustrated by hippies
FBI foiled as criminal cleverly enters private mode on browser
Marauding Mongols slowed by complex visa requirements
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World News
Royal couple experience first night of dull, routine sex
WEDDING CANCELLED: Harry and Meghan split over whether it’s Yanny or Laurel
Mueller asks Trump aides to pause corrupt deals to give him a chance to catch up
Trump: “I consulted world leaders on Iran, but Rick from Texas had a point”
China to build military base 200km off Australian coast: ‘can’t afford the house prices any closer’
Facebook admits CEO Mark Zuckerberg personally views and rates every single one of your nudes out of 10
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Shovel Politics
5 Tips For Avoiding African Gangs In Melbourne
Peter Dutton Criticises Thailand For Failing To Keep Their Children In Detention
Tony Abbott Demands To Know Which Dickhead Signed Australia Up To The Paris Climate Agreement
“It’s About Free Speech”, Fuckhead Senator Says
Shorten Meets With Shadow Cabinet To Formulate This Week’s Tax Policy
Peter Dutton Named New ABC News Anchor
Real Estate
Minister who forgot about buying house luckily still remembered to negatively gear it
Sultan of Brunei flaunts wealth by purchasing room in decrepit Sydney sharehouse
UN called in to resolve washing-up stalemate
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