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Striving for mediocrity in a world of excelence, The Chaser is a media empire which rivals Rupert Murdoch’s in all fields except power, influence, popularity and profitability.
News Corp journo blasts inner-city latte drinkers, before popping out of inner Sydney office for a cappuccino
"Thank god for true blue rural Aussies like me"
Trudeau checks with staff if he can do blackface now that he’s in a minority
Local man saves crucial seconds by standing in train door while people are trying to get off
Suicidal whale constantly frustrated by hippies
Daily Telegraph to blank out every future edition due to popular demand
Lazy father gives kids the gist of various bedtime classics
Sydney transport thrown into chaos as trains all arrive on time
“Paying staff correct wages is too difficult” says chef who invented edible door knobs
Local News
God’s plan is for man’s life to suck
Melbourne man visits Sydney just to point out its flaws
Man carefully arranges bedside novels before big date
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World News
Trump rushed off stage after Secret Service spot man carrying photo of John McCain
Trump warns Turkish President to end conflict with Kurds or he will be forced to tell on him to his dad
“Lies are hurting my presidency!” complains guy who claimed Obama was muslim from Kenya
Trump threatens Turkey with withdrawal of Thanksgiving pardons
Instagram to phase out photos to help users focus on ads
Shock new audio released of Trump speaking a complete, well thought out sentence
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Shovel Politics
Scott Cam Tells Kids Being A Tradie Is A Good Career Option If You Quit To Become A National TV Host
People Forced To Find Other Ways To Be Insensitive Wankers, Now That Uluru Closed To Climbers 
Morrison Shits His Pants While Visiting Maccas In US
Morrison’s Spiritual Advisor Rejected Entry For American State Visit
Gladys Liu Can’t Recall If She Is The Member For Chisholm
Scott Morrison Calls For Newstart Recipients To Provide Vial Of Blood, To Prove How Much They’re Willing To Bleed For This Country
Real Estate
Minister who forgot about buying house luckily still remembered to negatively gear it
Sultan of Brunei flaunts wealth by purchasing room in decrepit Sydney sharehouse
UN called in to resolve washing-up stalemate
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