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Striving for mediocrity in a world of excelence, The Chaser is a media empire which rivals Rupert Murdoch’s in all fields except power, influence, popularity and profitability.
Toyota to phase out indicators on all new vehicles, citing lack of use
"Nobody was using them anyway"
Fraser Anning picks up job as Sky News presenter
World celebrates progress as Hollywood casts black man to play violent gun-wielding murderer
Victoria to introduce involuntary euthanasia for families that walk side-by-side on footpath
City2Surf entrant hopes 2 minutes of stretches will make up for last 7 years of inactivity
Great Barrier Reef downgraded by scientists to “Pretty Average Barrier Reef”
Renegade teaspoon ruining it for rest of cutlery basket
End of Crocs footwear mourned by virgins worldover
Local News
Rescuers still searching for man lost in IKEA
Scientists discover parallel universe where USBs can be inserted after only 2 tries
Woman unsure how to categorise relationship on census
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World News
“Refugees are going to take my job,” claims unemployed man
Starting global wars will result in one-hour suspension under Twitter’s tough new terms of service
Royal couple experience first night of dull, routine sex
WEDDING CANCELLED: Harry and Meghan split over whether it’s Yanny or Laurel
Mueller asks Trump aides to pause corrupt deals to give him a chance to catch up
Trump: “I consulted world leaders on Iran, but Rick from Texas had a point”
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Shovel Politics
Government Denounces Blatant Racism, Calls For Return To Thinly Veiled Racism
Turnbull Guarantees Power Bills Will Fall $550 By 2014
Barnaby Releases Book, Podcast Series, TV Show And Live Tour In Desperate Bid For Privacy
Threat Of African Gangs Has Halved Since By-Elections, Analysis Shows
Eric Abetz Hospitalised After Scott Morrison Says ‘Tampon’
Australian Values Test: New Migrants To Be Tested On How Much They Hate New Migrants
Real Estate
Minister who forgot about buying house luckily still remembered to negatively gear it
Sultan of Brunei flaunts wealth by purchasing room in decrepit Sydney sharehouse
UN called in to resolve washing-up stalemate
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