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Striving for mediocrity in a world of excelence, The Chaser is a media empire which rivals Rupert Murdoch’s in all fields except power, influence, popularity and profitability.
Samsung developer successfully finds his, and everyone elses, mobile
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Cleaners at St Kevins fired for sweeping everything under carpet
Coles debuts new “Down Down Wages Are Down” tv advert
George Calombaris teams up with Coles to launch new line of cooked books
Scott Morrison offers Germany a new swimming pool if they keep their coal plants open
Holden: A tale of under-warranty car repairs
Nation left dangerously low on climate experts after Holden shuts shop
“People can’t expect to mouth off and then keep their job!” says man who defended Israel Folau
Local News
Lazy man hoping unironed clothes become fashionable
God comes out of retirement to distance self from Catholic Church
Belief system debunked by T-shirt
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World News
Republican Senators vote unanimously to impeach Hilary Clinton
Democrats regret appointing Peter Dutton to count the votes in Iowa ballot
US Senate votes to impeach Joe Biden
NASA to replace all scientists with Greg from Facebook who has a degree in COMMON SENSE
Queen pronounces grandson ‘the Harry formerly known as Prince’
Queen’s Christmas message tactfully tip-toes around whole child-trafficking thing
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Shovel Politics
Morrison Calls For Royal Commission Into Shape Of Earth
Morrison Agrees To Bail Out Holden If They Re-Open As An Open-Cut Coal Mine
Scott Morrison Surprises His Wife For Valentine’s Day With 12 Beautiful, Hand-Picked Equestrian Clubs
Morrison Responds Decisively To Sydney Floods By Announcing Funding For Ark
Richard Di Natale Resigns, Grows Beard, Then Returns To Greens’ Leadership
“I Just Want The Government Out Of My Life,” Joyce Says, Announcing Bid For Leadership Of Major Political Party
Real Estate
Minister who forgot about buying house luckily still remembered to negatively gear it
Sultan of Brunei flaunts wealth by purchasing room in decrepit Sydney sharehouse
UN called in to resolve washing-up stalemate
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