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Striving for mediocrity in a world of excelence, The Chaser is a media empire which rivals Rupert Murdoch’s in all fields except power, influence, popularity and profitability.
Nation nervously wonders what nightmare universe is planning to unleash today
"I bet it'll be locusts"
BREAKING: Australian government repeals gay marriage in attempt to stop natural disasters
Nation savours single facemask free day between smoke and coronavirus outbreak
Sad day: Eggboy has finally hatched
Scott Morrison’s “I stopped the boats” trophy revoked
Government begs Australians to taper their prayers for rain
“What climate change?” says PM dealing with drought, fire, flood, hail and dust storm in one day
Mosman Rowing Club donates paddle to assist Bridget McKenzie escape shit creek
Local News
“Humans aren’t meant to drink milk” claims woman slamming tequila
Millenial buys Sydney apartment by giving up smashed avos for just 547 years
“Refugees are going to take my job,” claims unemployed man
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World News
US Senate votes to impeach Joe Biden
NASA to replace all scientists with Greg from Facebook who has a degree in COMMON SENSE
Queen pronounces grandson ‘the Harry formerly known as Prince’
Queen’s Christmas message tactfully tip-toes around whole child-trafficking thing
Dyslexic child stays up on Christmas Eve waiting for Satan
Trump spotted in fake moustache and sombrero fleeing to Mexico following impeachment
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Shovel Politics
Greens To Blame For Canberra Hailstorm, Government Claims
Bushfire Relief For Marginal Electorates Only, Government Says
Bridget McKenzie Announces New 100,000 Seat Stadium For Launceston
Craig Kelly Disputes Claim That Smoke Will Do Lap Of Earth, Reminding NASA That Earth Is Flat
Australia Asks Other Nations To Send Backup Politicians, To Help Deal With Bushfire Crisis 
News Corp: “We Didn’t Delete The All-Staff Email Sent By A Disgruntled Employee. It Was Burnt By Arsonists”
Real Estate
Minister who forgot about buying house luckily still remembered to negatively gear it
Sultan of Brunei flaunts wealth by purchasing room in decrepit Sydney sharehouse
UN called in to resolve washing-up stalemate
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