The ‘Daily Mail of political commentators’ joins the Daily Mail

The Daily Mail Australia has announced they have hired a new political editor in Christian Porter’s former PR Manager Peter van Onselen.

“On a macro level, he will fit in perfectly here,” said another Daily Mail editor, “but on a micro level, when it comes to defending powerful men and telling women to smile more, boy is he a natural”

“I mean he even attacks people like Grace Tame, Brittany Higgins and has been accused of bullying female colleagues, he truly get’s what we are all about. The only things left that he will need to learn is how to add more cleavage to his thumbnails and which words to randomly capitalise. But, based on his general smug demeanour, I assume that won’t take long.”

The news of PvO’s move to the Daily Mail has been met with many people saying ‘yeah, that checks out’, which is a response so damaging to a journalist’s reputation that the defamation suit enthusiast has already begun work copy and pasting a cease and desist letter.

However the announcement has led to outrage amongst students at the university where he is a lecturer, with one student telling The Chaser, “I am getting into how much HECS debt only to be taught journalism from a guy at the Daily Mail? And if we are learning standards from the Daily Mail, does that mean I get marked down or marked up for plagiarism?”