Princess Kate Middleton has reportedly caused chaos in Buckingham Palace after refusing King Charles’s suggestion to calm down the conspiracy theories surrounding Kate by holding a photo-op in a Paris tunnel.

“It’s a family tradition,” King Charles told Princess Kate, “people want to know where you are while you’re being a pain in our asses and a quick photo-op with paparazzi following you through a Paris tunnel doing what they do best, would clear everything up.”

“We always have this is a back-up plan ready to go. I offer Meghan a driving tour of the tunnels every week as a sort of apology for what has transpired but she never accepts either.”

“Anyway I hear the tunnels are amazing this time of year, far better than that boring French countryside. So much room for driving around and the concrete is extra firm for putting a stop to it all. What do you say? I book a one way flight and let’s ‘bury’ these issues once and for all… so to speak.”