Sport
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Sport
Nation’s productivity reaches 0 which is hopefully also England’s score tonight
They may as well have called today a public holiday
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Sport
“You want funding for the sport?” PM clarifies that his support for the Matildas is only photo-op deep
“Do you think you are some sort of coal mine or nuclear submarine?”
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Sport
Barnaby Joyce congratulates Cathy Freeman on incredible race
“I love lady sport” said the families man
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Sport
Dutton caught frantically googling ‘mens matildas team’
“As if they’d ever put a public holiday on for a sporting event or a race anywhere in Australia. It’s unprecedented!”
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Sport
AUKUS subs scrapped in favour of Mackenzie Arnold defending nation’s borders
Arnold responded to several incoming questions on the matter as if she had pre-calculated where they were coming from
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Sport
Channel 7 executives scrambling to find out what “women” are, in wake of soccer ratings record
“So you’re saying these people play sport that can be televised all year round?” asked the head of 7 Sport
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Sport
Ben Cousins joins tabloid news station citing vast experience with stalking
‘He has the perfect violent record for the 7 News team’ said one executive
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Sport
AFL officials bring out green curtain to finally deal with West Coast Eagles
“I feel Ben Cousins is to blame.”
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Sport
“Trans people are a threat to children’s sport” claims man who decked child in non contact sport
“Imagine how dangerous it would have been if it was a trans boy the kids age” said Deves