Magpie Swooping season sufficient reason to call off all exercise for next two months

A would-be jogger has hung up his brand new running shoes after witnessing someone being swooped by the local magpie.

“They’re just doing what magpies do and I think the best thing to do is stay away from them. Unfortunately there are magpies everywhere so it might not be the best time to get into running.”

Max Lazos, a 27 year old consultant from St Kilda has also said the threat of swooping may keep him out of the local gym and pool. “You just never know. Besides, someone at a party somewhere told me that a guy they saw on the news had to go to hospital because a magpie took his eye out! It’s just not worth the risk.”

Reports from Max’s girlfriend indicate the threat of hypothetical magpie swooping may even stop Max from exercising at home

“I don’t really own a yoga mat and I get really easily distracted,” he sighed “at least this new activewear is comfortable while I binge Succession.”

With Magpie Swooping season particularly bad this year, Max could be unable to exercise for several months. “Ah look maybe January-oh but then it’ll probably be a bit hot. Maybe Autumn. May seems nice like a nice time of year to start.”

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