Entertainment

A script leak has revealed Channel 7 will feature a one-hour special edition of Border Security in which Santa Claus is stopped and detained in a random check by the Department of Home affairs. The episode allegedly details border agents directing Santa to land at Sydney international airport where several officers search the contents of…

“No comment,” said our lawyers

“I feel like I’ll fit right in.”

“We wanted to end with an emotional story the average American can relate to.”

Many were shocked by the news that the show was still on air.

“After 25 successful years where idiots are filmed with their consent, we thought it would be great if the contestants were only vaguely aware they were being filmed”

“I am just so grateful to be able represent what Australian media is all about.”

“Maybe it should be the Barbie dream shared rental, with no mould?”

We’re worried that this event will lead to another meltdown in the ticketing infrastructure in Australia

“I had to sit through a movie I didn’t like – I don’t know that anything worse has happened to anyone, ever.”