Alan Jones suspiciously eager for chance to replace Richard Kingsmill at Triple J

Defamation enthusiast Alan Jones has raised eye-brows while pushing people out of the way as he rushed to ABC studios to hand in his application to replace Richard Kingsmill as the new top presenter at Triple J.

“It’s my dream job,” said an out of breath Jones, “I’d get to be back on the radio. Plus, I hear I would have a lot of power over young people, but my lawyers say not to mention that part.”

“As a former teacher myself, I have always had a keen interest in teens and this role would get me access to whichever ones around the country still listen to the radio. Think of this as my latest love letter to students of Australia.”

Jones explained he would hope to bring the station back to it’s roots by focusing heavily on Australian artists explaining, “Australian radio should stay Aussie. This has nothing to do with promoting Aussie acts, I just think we should ban immigrants.”

Triple J executives said that they would love to have the veteran radio host on board at the network, but are concerned that the 82 year old might be too young to relate to the station’s current audience.