Javid's Posts

‘Relieved’ cricket hater oblivious to fact The Ashes start in two weeks
FOLLOWING Australia’s exit from the Cricket World Cup this morning, house-mates and co-workers of 21-year-old Leonard Boink have agreed to
Jon Snow turns to Australian Parliament for help with leadership spill
FOLLOWING the violent descent into madness of ‘Queen’ Daenerys Targaryen and her subsequent drop in approval ratings, the King in
Disney burns down Notre Dame to make way for improved CGI remake
JUST weeks before the launch of digital adaptations of ‘The Lion King’ and ‘Aladdin’, the Walt Disney Company has again
Mark Latham to undergo DNA test for ‘Dickhead’ gene
FOLLOWING his calls for DNA testing for Indigenous welfare recipients, One Nation’s Mark Latham will today undergo his own DNA
NASA discovers sign reading ‘fuck off, we’re full’ on earth-sized planets
“While we’re excited at the discovery of not just inhabitable planets but also extra-terrestrial life, we’re shocked and appalled at this blatant display of xenophobia"
Government orders plebiscite on Marriage At First Sight
"It’s trending every night, for better or worse, and we could only dream of that kind of popularity in an election year.”
Arnott’s continue ‘Aussie Legends’ line with Aerogard-flavoured Shapes
The snack has already received a ringing endorsement from the Prime Minister, who insisted that they be served at citizenship ceremonies nationwide.
Moro Bars prepare for months-long stay in back of fridge
“It’s a pretty sad state of affairs when you’re the last one in the bowl, especially after Nan has come and taken all of the Turkish Delight.”
Video game violence blamed for sudden spike in Stagecoach robberies
PARENTS groups are up in arms after an unprecedented increase in stagecoach robbery and hog-tying since the release of Red
SJW confined to bedrest after two days of ‘world-changing’ Facebook posts
"Now I know what a racehorse feels like - the ones that don't get shot I mean."
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