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Trump said it is time to get back to the roots of the Republican Party: bigotry.

“I fully supporting setting her up to take all the blame if we lose” said outgoing leader Joe

Meanwhile, President Biden has today said he emphatically endorses his loyal Vice President Donald Trump to be the candidate to defeat Kamala Harris at this year’s election.

“Another close call”

“We do not want to be known as a country that allows gun violence to spread beyond the schoolyard!”

“We hope that future President Trump takes the necessary steps to keep America safe and bans elections entirely… and schools.”

President Joe Biden has regained his energy, making the strongest statement he has made in months condemning the attempt on his Vice President’s life. This comes after shots were fired at Presidential Candidate Donald Trump’s rally earlier today. “You may not like us,” said Biden, “but that man is still our Vice President dammit. The…

Biden condemned political violence in all forms saying there is no place for that in the year 1912.

“No one who actually has a uterus should be allowed to make that choice for themselves, but luckily at this point we doubt one will ever become president.”

Adorably, little Jimmy has already begun practicing for the job by dressing up in suits and mumbling incoherent thoughts about how he is the bestest person ever.