World
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World
Trump campaign set to hire Australian ‘misogyny expert’
Anonymous Aussie set to advise on women and raw onions.
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World
Two creepy clowns scare millions during TV broadcast
Two terrifying, face-painted and angry-looking jesters hijacked television screens across the globe for 90 minutes last night.
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World
Physiotherapists applaud Kim Jong-Un’s tough stance against bad posture
The World Physiotherapy Association (WPA) has applauded Kim Jong-Un and his “brave fight against back posture” following the North Korean President’s execution of his Health Minister for slouching during his speech. A spokesperson for the WPA told reporters, “We’ve been warning people about the dangers of bad posture for years, we’re just really glad we’re…
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World
Apple rumoured to be developing ‘NeverStop’ battery, modelled on its workers conditions
Speculation about the new iPhone has reached fever pitch, after Apple announced it has developed a new NeverStop technology that will allow an iPhone battery for days of continuous use on a single charge. Apple CEO, Tim Cook, told the Wall Street Journal that the development was revolutionary. “We really wanted to do something for the next generation of youth. The next generation of…
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World
Hanson supporter reads Quran entirely for the purpose of belittling Islam
Local bigot Scotty Bowers is sick of being called an ‘uneducated racist’ and has finally decided to do something about it.
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World
Chimps begin to grow embarrassed by their close relation to humans
Reports have surfaced this week that Chimpanzees have started denying being related to humans, following a series of humiliating blunders by the human race.
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World
Jeb Bush Wins Participation Award at Iowa Caucus
Republican delegates in the Iowa’s primary on Monday decided unanimously to award Jeb Bush the coveted Participation Award.
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World
Aung San Suu Kyi finally puts bins out
The freedom fighter today began the process of stacking fifteen years’ worth of rubbish outside her Rangoon home.
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World
Smoking toddler now just bumming off mates
The only time Rizal ever stops hassling his classmates for a smoke is if he discovers they only smoke menthols.
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World
Berlusconi seeks “urgent summit” with Megan Fox
“Megan will be treated with the utmost respect,” Berlusconi added. “I will pay her 30,000 Euros.”