World
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World
“Humans aren’t meant to drink milk” claims woman slamming tequila
The woman was heard loudly insisting “Milk’s not good for our stomachs” before throwing up from alcohol poisoning.
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World
Man still waiting for the day when he can show off his fluent Latin
A Melbourne-based man who identifies as bilingual has expressed hope that he will have the chance to show off his fluent Latin speaking skills “any day now”. It has been twenty years since Roger Henderson, 37, picked up the skill while at school, which he claims is ready to deploy whenever the opportunity eventually arises. “The other…
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World
Alec Baldwin’s impression of Donald Trump is polling higher than Hillary Clinton
The series of Saturday Night Live sketches were so well received that Donald “Baldwin” Trump is now beating Hillary Clinton in a nationwide poll.
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World
Hillary Clinton faces further scrutiny for not using symbols and numbers in her Hotmail password
The FBI has reason to believe that Secretary Clinton not only had a registered Hotmail account, but her password strength was Weak to Moderate.
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World
Trump campaign set to hire Australian ‘misogyny expert’
Anonymous Aussie set to advise on women and raw onions.
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World
Two creepy clowns scare millions during TV broadcast
Two terrifying, face-painted and angry-looking jesters hijacked television screens across the globe for 90 minutes last night.
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World
Physiotherapists applaud Kim Jong-Un’s tough stance against bad posture
The World Physiotherapy Association (WPA) has applauded Kim Jong-Un and his “brave fight against back posture” following the North Korean President’s execution of his Health Minister for slouching during his speech. A spokesperson for the WPA told reporters, “We’ve been warning people about the dangers of bad posture for years, we’re just really glad we’re…
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World
Apple rumoured to be developing ‘NeverStop’ battery, modelled on its workers conditions
Speculation about the new iPhone has reached fever pitch, after Apple announced it has developed a new NeverStop technology that will allow an iPhone battery for days of continuous use on a single charge. Apple CEO, Tim Cook, told the Wall Street Journal that the development was revolutionary. “We really wanted to do something for the next generation of youth. The next generation of…
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World
Hanson supporter reads Quran entirely for the purpose of belittling Islam
Local bigot Scotty Bowers is sick of being called an ‘uneducated racist’ and has finally decided to do something about it.
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World
Chimps begin to grow embarrassed by their close relation to humans
Reports have surfaced this week that Chimpanzees have started denying being related to humans, following a series of humiliating blunders by the human race.