General News

“Whoever left this, clean it up. I AM NOT YOUR MOTHER!”

The text message to all Australians instructed them to start washing their hands seven weeks ago.

“I know I’ve got the virus, but honestly, I really do feel amazing.”

Mansplaining is now mostly about getting the settings right on Zoom.

The hardest part was getting through all the Adam Sandler movies.

“It’s useful to relax in front of the terrifying news with a glass or seven of wine.”

Parents belatedly remembered how irritating their kids are.

Nobody had used the lane in three weeks.

3:30pm is pretty much 4pm, and 4pm is as close to 5pm as it gets,” said one home worker.

Officials have warned that up to 70% of people may make the joke in the coming months.