General News

“Any other weekend would already be ruined by being up before 6am on Saturday, but the World Cup is different.”

“It would have been nice if they at least held me for questioning after seeing the posts I share.”

“That’s exactly what I love to see in politics.” said the slightly confused president.

“When you combine how annoying these tours are with how insufferable Karl is, this is going to be unbearable.”

“Some may see it as harmless at first, but the toxicity spreads much like the black mould that landlords ignore.”

The Pope has once again ramped up his war against the soulless, inhumane, unable-to-feel-joy AI founders and their slop machines.

“They dodged our Eurovision questions, but we wont let the network do this again!”

“The chill guy persona always goes away once a woman stops feeding the DJ’s ego.”

The plucky self-made entrepreneur may now be forced to pay a little bit of tax.

Other outlets have decided all future references to sauce will be framed with ‘the fish and chip shop claims there isn’t a death tax’.