Business

“We are completely independent in our decision making at ‘insert company here’.” said both CEOs in perfect unison.

“Everything that is being reported sounds super inappropriate for a workplace… well outside of the Prayer Room.”

“We also forgot the massages”

“Why else would our users plummet?”

It’s frustrating when Qantas loses your stuff isn’t it?

The company will be rebranded to Xtel until it eventually collapses.

“I’m relieved to hear he changed his contract last week in a way that protects him” said Jeremy who just lost his job

“We’re also the only airline who will have no emissions next fiscal quarter.”

“And who wants to hear from sport journalists who know what they are talking about anyway, we have Karl Stefanovic still!”

(Following the strike action against Channel 9, the outlet has posted the following job listing)