Business

Users were able to re-access the app after 14 hours, when they gave up and switched to their phone data instead.

Zuckerberg committed to adopting more traditionally ‘masculine’ hobbies like gaslighting, abusing his power for financial gain and making dumb comments on podcasts.

“I’m not some evil greedy monster, it’s the least I could do.”

“Maybe we should use something stronger than craft glue for the doors for now on.”

“The protesters are concerned about worker safety, but what about the safety of executive bonuses?”

It was the only option for the CEO of X-Corp and ex-communicated father.

“We are completely independent in our decision making at ‘insert company here’.” said both CEOs in perfect unison.

“Everything that is being reported sounds super inappropriate for a workplace… well outside of the Prayer Room.”

“We also forgot the massages”

“Why else would our users plummet?”