“Goes against our values”: 7 bosses apologise for having ‘sexy dancing Santas’ at meeting without also offering cocaine

Channel 7’s bosses have apologised for the Friday morning all-hands meeting where dancers in ‘Sexy Santa’ outfits performed despite it being a workplace meeting and August.

A representative for the network said the meeting, which took place just days after a 4Corners expose accused the network of having a cultural problem, was against the companies culture due to a shocking lack of cocaine.

“We understand why some employees are upset,” said a network executive, “there are certain expectations that come with an all-hands meeting. The name ‘all-hands’ clearly implies a special ‘Thai massage’ and we failed to book any. We hope this error does not change your perception of the company.”

In response, producers for 7News have offered to ‘fix the situation’ by offering free “surprise shoulder rubs” to any employee who was made to feel uncomfortable.