Local Wiggles fan misses Hottest 100 win due to new job driving forklifts
Tragedy on construction site after some idiot let a child drive a forklift
Morrison to restaff under-resourced hospitals with crack team of 12 year olds
Morrison hopes states will allow children to drive forklifts
Christian Porter celebrates another stunning victory after being ordered to pay $420,000 in court fees
Government’s hardline stance against anti-vaxxers sees Christensen forced to continue doing what he likes
“Anti-vax tennis players are a danger to society” says government full of anti-vaxxers
Dominic Perrottet tells coastal NSW to learn to live with Tsunamis
‘Nothing is free’ says man who just paid $6 billion to not buy any submarines
Compromise reached: Australian Open to be held inside a Hillsong Church
Medical Miracle: Government halt the spread of Covid by just declaring everywhere a Hillsong Church
“Unlike Boris, I would never plan anything during the pandemic” Morrison assures nation
Government finally acts on housing crisis by halting supply of avocados
Nation with no food thankful government spent crucial weeks focused on making it legal to fire gay people
Perrottet admits slight difficulty in enforcing new testing rules due to THE COMPLETE FUCKING LACK OF RATS
Christian Porter congratulates government on stunning victory in Djokovic case
Government with no money for tests luckily has spare $3.5 billion for tanks
Scott Morrison awards himself another trophy as food supplies dry up
Government told they must learn to live with Novak
Party that spent $80 million on non-existent water reckons free plague tests during a plague would be a waste of money
NSW announces new plans to manage bushfires by airdropping petrol on fire
Morrison volunteers to investigate if Hawaii has any RAT tests left
Mass shock as famous tennis player turns out to be an unlikable tool
Nurse coming off a double shift devastated to hear Novak doesn’t like his free hotel
Attorney General practises backhand after Novak says he’ll take government to court
“You can’t make everything free” says guy who gets free flights, car, accomodation, food, internet, phone…
Sydney housing market hits new price high as inner city terrace sells for 3 RAT tests
Morrison announces govt won’t help Cyclone Seth victims to avoid undercutting Harvey Norman’s umbrella sale
Morrison confused why poor don’t simply test themselves with cake
Parliamentary cleaners skip Scomo’s office as it hasn’t been touched in 3 years
Perrottet informs son that filling Christmas stocking was his personal responsibility
Thousands of naughty kids injured after Santa replaces coal with wind turbines
Fears of super spreader event after single man visits 7 billion houses in one night
Dyslexic child stays up on Christmas Eve waiting for Satan
Sky News calls for riots in Sydney to overthrow ruthless Dictator Dom
Morrison horrified after learning personal responsibility applies to him too
CHASER FACT CHECK | TRUE: Sunscreen mandate isn’t needed, BECAUSE CANCER ISN’T CONTAGIOUS
Dom Perrottet closes state prisons in favor of asking murderers to practice personal responsibility
Doctors warn Western Australia may soon be overrun by an uncontrollable wave of smugness
Traffic laws abolished in NSW as residents are encouraged to show personal responsibility instead
NSW Health asks everyone to just stop having covid
The Chaser’s official Scott Morrison Report Card
Dan Andrews slams “Dictator Dan” for forcing him into isolation
The Queen cancels all future events that she is required to be alive at
‘Just two more days’ says every single office worker across entire country
Santa to skip QLD out of fear of surprise 14 day quarantine
Elon Musk wins Time magazine’s Cunt of the Year
Morrison says corruption should only be investigated using “the honesty system”
Alan Jones shifts to new platform of yelling opinions at strangers in the supermarket
Boris Johnson announces stricter Covid policies for him to ignore this Christmas
Johnny Depp calls for Barnaby Joyce to be put down
“Politicians shouldn’t cavort with dangerous conspiracists” says PM who’s best mates with one
NSW teachers open gun club in Wagga in attempt to secure more funding from politicians
Gladys Berejiklian corrupt enough for Federal Liberal Party
‘Channel 9 was mean to me’ cries PM who locked up children on an island prison
Liberal Party announce new candidate Bladys Gerejiklian to run in seat of Warringah
Chris Pratt joins the cast of Spiderverse 2 as Miles Morales
Scott Morrison explains to driver that Bathurst is not a race
Bank unable to see how guy paying $1200 a month in rent could afford $1200 a month mortgage
Scott Morrison spotted at Ikea asking for advice on how to keep Cabinet from falling apart
