Piers Morgan celebrates return to News Corp by hacking a dead kid’s phone

Scott Morrison launches inquiry to investigate whether there is a way to save Porter’s career

‘Oops’: Morrison thought he was ordering ‘new clear’ submarines, made of glass

Christian Porter demands his name be redacted from his coffee cup

Prime Minister who said we can’t blindly trust Porter’s alleged victim blindly trusts $1m donation

Tasmania quietly enacts plan to tow state over to New Zealand

Keneally claims she is a diverse candidate: ‘I love Vietnamese food’

NSW government announce plan to replace press conferences with looped recording of ‘can I just say’

Doctors admit Ivermectin has some medical benefits after learning it will prevent anti-vaxxers reproducing

Pfizer told they’d have better luck reaching Greg Hunt if they tweeted him from the account ‘BBWCumPumper69’

Scott Morrison’s empathy consultant to be replaced with ‘basic human decency’ consultant

‘I didn’t break any rules’ says guy who makes the rules

Victorian Liberal party now so irrelevant they needed to make up some ‘Matthew’ guy for attention

News Corp admits climate change is real after hell freezes over

PM defends giving opening keynote at Women’s Summit, ‘Someone needs to explain to the ladies what the problem is’

News Corp mysteriously start to care about climate misinformation hours before Senate hearing on misinformation

Pre-School class told to draw their dream house they will never own

Emergency Chaplains hired to help calm Coalition MPs worried about the new Wiggles lineup

ABBA announce comeback album called ‘GrandMamma Mia’

Scott Morrison responds to Q&A by asking Grace Tame if she wants a milkshake

‘This is brilliant’: CEO of Ivermectin delighted idiots keep eating his medicine

Experts hoping Ivermectin will cure some of Joe Rogan’s more horse-shit ideas

NSW reintroduces ‘Towards 2000’ numberplates to commemorate upcoming milestone

Dave Hughes announces ‘Hughesy We Have A Problem’ has found a new home at Sky After-Dark

Support for WA Premier soars after he refuses Eddie McGuire entry to Western Australia

Coalition to solve climate anxiety by putting a Charlie Chaplin in every school

‘Of course we trust the Taliban, we created them’ explains Pentagon

NSW fans go wild after the state once again smashes its personal best

NSW officially changes its state flag to a white flag

ABC journo afraid to like tweet about The Croods in case it breaches balance policy

CHASER FACT-CHECK: True, going from ‘fuck all’ renewables investment to ‘basically fuck all’ is ‘record investment’

Government that “can’t afford JobKeeper” magically finds $6 billion to give to coal companies

‘News Corp is not a giant propaganda machine’ claim News Corp outlets around the world

Kochie develops pink eye after Frydenberg interview

Paralympics introduce new ‘NDIS’ sport where contestants must jump through endless hoops to qualify

Paralympics: Australia predicted to win big in ‘condescending media coverage’

Man in his mid-20s finally buys a bed frame

New ‘White Wiggle’ introduced to help Matt Canavan feel represented

“Diverse childrens show will never work” says nation raised on Sesame Street since the 60s

Conservative longs for the days when Wiggles upheld traditional values of 4 grown men living together in a house with no women

Matt Canavan demands Wiggles go back to working only with white guys like Rolf Harris

‘There are many wise in hindsight,’ says PM who isn’t

PM fucks up so badly he can’t even handle a David Speers interview

Sydneysider relieved to have avoided that unnecessary short lockdown in June

OnlyFans bans OnlyFans after the company fucks itself

NSW Liberals categorically deny they are knifing Gladys, meaning it’s definitely on

Covid declares we must learn to live with NSW government

Government best known for locking down half of Sydney every night for 10 years announce they don’t do curfews

Tell us your star sign and we will tell you if you’re gullible

Morrison admits he only sped up Pfizer delivery to spite Kevin Rudd

Guy who has no expertise in war or humanitarian efforts says he is sick of ‘armchair experts’

Top 7 Times Scott Morrison fucked up and then lied about ‘not being warned’ before hand

Afghans start stocking up on oil in attempt to lure US army back

Dictator Dan launches ground invasion of NSW to bring Covid cases under control

‘Twitter ban on misleading content is a direct attack on us’, claims Sky News

Vox Pop: ‘What’s your solution to decades of violence in Afghanistan?’

Channel 7 renames ‘Home and Away’ to ‘Home’

Victorian Liberal leadership spill cancelled after kid’s playgrounds closed

Media that called Dan Andrews a dictator demands NSW become a police state

Govt that won’t shut up about China gaining power through climate investment, refuses to invest in climate