A plea from HR before the Christmas Party

Sorry to pull a ‘hey everyone’,

But it’s HR here with a friendly little reminder that the work Christmas party is still a work event, so while you let off some steam after all the hard work you put in for your work family, we want to remind you that we will be watching.

So let’s keep things professional by drinking responsibly, keeping your hands to yourself and staying fully clothed. This isn’t a nightclub or the Parliament House prayer room.

Executives have been told that cocaine is off the table at this party. So if you see them doing lines anywhere that isn’t the table, let us know so we can delete the security footage.

If you are taking part in the Secret Santa, do not go over the price limit. This isn’t an official warning, it’s just that everyone will think you’re annoying.

If Jeremy from accounts pulls out mistletoe, grab us immediately! We have told him multiple times that we don’t want a repeat of last year, or the year before, or the year before that.

Also congratulations to Jeremy on the recent promotion.

Keep your hands to yourself. I know we already said that, but we want to make it clear that we mean it, and that applies to Peter if he comes in a Santa outfit again. You do not have to sit on his lap!

Be warned, if you’re a junior employee and you act inappropriately, you will be fired. If you’re middle management, you will be spoken to. And if you’re an executive, we will fire the person who complained. 

But also guys, remember to have fun.

Thanks,

John Delmenico

HR

VIDEO – Satirists on the push to ban drag story time

With the War on 2024: Comedy Gala touring now, we thought it would be nice to relive a moment from last year’s tour.

Don’t miss your chance to grab tickets to this year’s show!

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