World
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World
Trump approves $1 billion Norton Anti-Virus fund to help fight corona
Trump launched into a half-hour long rave about what a genius he was for thinking of it.
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World
Calls for Boris Johnson to meet with health minister again
“Maybe shake her hand or something.”
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Democrats regret appointing Peter Dutton to count the votes in Iowa ballot
“I’m not even sure he understands the numbering system.”
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Trump spotted in fake moustache and sombrero fleeing to Mexico following impeachment
“Fuck, what’s this wall!?”
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Man who’s never read Time vows to never read Time again
“I refuse to support anyone who is trying to save the world while young and female.”
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World
Royal physician confirms Prince Andrew is definitely having no trouble sweating now
The Prince is reportedly receiving a surge of adrenaline from being accused of sex trafficking
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Queen cancels Prince Andrew’s birthday, begins preparations for funeral
She has already booked him an expenses paid trip to Paris
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God holds press conference to distance Himself from Israel Folau
“I actually quite like the gays”