National
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National
People-smuggling trade defeated as asylum seekers learn six years of torture won’t lead to brief hospital stay
“We’ve sent a clear message – at the end of that torture, you won’t get to go to hospital for a bit”
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National
Liberal Party blame racist Young LNP members on the Greens
The young men have been condemned as “leadership material”
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National
Westpac rescue helicopter deployed to save people from Westpac
Thousands are in need of rescue
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National
Extinction Rebellion claims credit for Sydney Transport network
“Clearly we’ve got someone working from the inside”
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National
Smoke problem solved: Government reclassifies whole of Sydney as VIP pokies lounge
Pokies will be installed on every street corner
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National
One Nation voter pulls child out of maths class over concerns about ‘Arabic’ numerals
“It’s bloody Un-Australian!”
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National
Empathy consultant advises Scomo to just delete his Twitter account at this point
“Its the only ethical option”
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National
Firefighters ordered to trial gay conversion therapy on bushfires
“God only knows if this will work”
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National
Treasurer announces “Weekend at Bernies” inspired scheme to assist dead in returning to workforce
He’s almost as lifelike as Scott Morrison
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National
Government replaces Robodebt with random number generator in bid to improve accuracy
“Problem solved”