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Investigators are still deciding on whether to add dumplings or not

“When I said it was a waste of time, I meant it was a waste of time not to do it!”

“Wait, they expect us to do things in return for being paid half a million dollars a year?”

“I don’t know which one is worse.”

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“If the value drops below 10x inflation, I’m gonna be royally pissed.”

“It’s okay, I didn’t need to sit down today anyway.”

Having a baby is a big decision. Ultimately, it’s up to you to work out how to manage it, but if there is one piece of advice that every new parent agrees on it is this: DON’T DO IT. BACK OUT NOW, WHILE YOU STILL CAN.

“We probably shouldn’t have partnered with Australia post”

Following his sacking as Deputy Whip for the Labor Party, here is the full transcript that Senator Sam Dastyari released moments ago: 親愛的比爾， 我很抱歉讓你陷入混亂。 它可能會從你的下一個Newspoll點擊幾個點，我知道這是世界上最重要的事情，所以我再次道歉。 讓我解釋我的行為。 你看，我發表了這個演講，然後再以這個真實的信念為藉口發表這樣的演講，內容永遠不會被曝光，而我的拂袖就足以保持懶惰的新聞畫廊的快樂。 我的誠信現在受到質疑，這一事實對我們的情報部門的政治化提出了嚴重的問題。 僅僅因為他們對澳大利亞的忠誠值得懷疑，是否真的是他們的目標？ 是的，但我仍然希望我能擺脫它。 我現在辭去副鞭的職務，每年以20萬美元回到參議員身邊。 哦，唉。 但嚴重 – 這是對手腕的拍擊。 這真的傷了一下。 此致， 薩姆 Translated into English: Dear Bill, I am so sorry for getting you in this mess. It will probably…