humour
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News
Pet snake decides to let owner live another day
Local pet python Carlos has decided to let his owner Trent Smith live another day.
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News
Owners of Big Banana disappointed it hasn’t been named as a terror target
“What’s the Taj Mahal got that we don’t?”
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News
Cash Converters owner impressed at how many TVs one regular customer owns
“Who says the economy is slowing?”
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News
Melbourne man visits Sydney just to point out its flaws
A 27 year old graphic designer from Melbourne has spent an entire weekend in Sydney pointing out its flaws.
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World
“Humans aren’t meant to drink milk” claims woman slamming tequila
The woman was heard loudly insisting “Milk’s not good for our stomachs” before throwing up from alcohol poisoning.
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General News
Turnbull dreams of one day holding power
PM Malcolm Turnbull spent the entire day today wandering the halls of parliament imagining what it would be like to hold power in Australia.
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National
Local drunk denounces Muslim immigration mid-kebab
“Imagine if this Aussie kebab shop went under because it had to compete with some immigrant’s food shop across the road. It’s just not right.”
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National
Factional heavyweights relieved Conroy can spend more time with his daughter
The heavyweights say they are glad Conroy listened to their suggestion that he think about his family before making any rushed decisions.
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General News
Highway police finally targeting international tax fraud
After fifty years of targeting speeding, one year of targeting drink driving and one week of targeting seat belts, Western Sydney Highway Patrol have decided to finally start targeting International tax fraud. Constable Sarah Jackson stated that the bold move was a team decision, “It’s safe to say a lot of us were feeling ‘The…
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World
Apple rumoured to be developing ‘NeverStop’ battery, modelled on its workers conditions
Speculation about the new iPhone has reached fever pitch, after Apple announced it has developed a new NeverStop technology that will allow an iPhone battery for days of continuous use on a single charge. Apple CEO, Tim Cook, told the Wall Street Journal that the development was revolutionary. “We really wanted to do something for the next generation of youth. The next generation of…