humour
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Entertainment
2005 Hottest Year on Record according to ‘Who Weekly’
Who Weekly magazine has confirmed what many climate scientists had already suspected: that 2005 was officially the Hottest Year Ever, and that 2006 promised to be “even hotter.” The 22-page, 450-word special report in the Hot Years issue was compiled by a team of two editorial assistants, before being peer-reviewed by the magazine’s sub-editors. It…
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General News Archive
Viewer still unsure if Mythbusters are gay
After two seasons of watching Mythbusters, Redfern woman Sue Hooper still hasn’t reached a definitive conclusion about the sexual orientation of hosts Adam Savage and Jamie Hyneman. Months of painstaking anecdotal enquiry have left her only “90% sure that Jamie is gay, and Adam is just his good friend. Or at any rate that Jamie…
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World
Failed suicide bomber jailed: placed on suicide watch
Jordanian authorities fear that failed suicide bomber Sajida Mubarak al-Rishawi, who was taken into custody this week, may try, but fail, to harm herself in prison. “We’re very concerned for her safety,” a Jordanian prison official explained. “Much more concerned than she is in fact.” Rishawi will be kept under 24 hour observation in an…
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General News
Lame satirical article labours point
A satirical article laboured the point yesterday, merely dragging out the headline for another 300 words, unconfirmed sources reported. As often happens with these articles, a point was made in the second paragraph, then only repeated with a direct quote. "That often happens with these kinds of things. A point is made then a quote…
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General News Archive
Sensible cowboy hates being stereotyped
Appalled by the latent prejudice he encounters everyday, ranch-hand Jimmy “Montana” Pitt has launched a one man crusade against those who vilify cowboys. “The word ‘cowboy’ has come to be associated with slip-shod, hot-headed work. But most of us are hard working folk, and today ranching is a very valuable part of the economy,” said…
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Entertainment
Washed-up star longs for the days he was a has-been
1980s teen heart-throb Corey Haim longs for the glory days of his failing career, when his name was a still regular feature in “not hot” lists. “I’d love to go to the opening of an envelope these days, but the invites aren’t coming in like they used to,” says the co-star of Snowboard Academy and…
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National
PM promises shoot-to-kill policy will only be used in emergencies, accidents
“The world changed on 9/11,” Howard said. “Before then I would have needed a good reason to pass these draconian laws.”
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General News
Late night TV converts viewer to Christianity
Spurred on by his viewing of pre-dawn television, 41 year-old printer salesman Andrew Smithers has found God. Smithers says that the conversion process began at 12.00am Wednesday with the Channel Ten chat show Face to Face. “At first I thought it was just an informative discussion of world events conducted by people I could relate…