Sport
-
Sport
‘Relieved’ cricket hater oblivious to fact The Ashes start in two weeks
FOLLOWING Australia’s exit from the Cricket World Cup this morning, house-mates and co-workers of 21-year-old Leonard Boink have agreed to give him a day or two of serene enjoyment before reminding him that the month-and-a-half long Ashes series starts in just over a fortnight. “He was so happy this morning, I just couldn’t do it…
-
Sport
Tomic the Tank Engine can’t be bothered to go up mildly steep hill
Following Bernard Tomic’s first round defeat in the French Open, a new episode of Tomic the Tank Engine has been released.
-
Sport
Scott Morrison euthanised on track after fall in polls
Morrison fell sharply in the polls stewards the most humane course of action was to bring in the curtains.
-
Sport
Steve Smith defects to Canada permanently: “at least they know how to play cricket”
In a shock announcement, Steve Smith has announced that he will be staying in Canada permanently, because “at least the cricketers here know how to bat.”
-
Sport
Super Bowl LI for dummies, by dummies
Everything you need to know to get you to half-time, then who cares?
-
Sport
Printing error sees thousands of drunken sports fans gather to see ‘Superb Owl’
“It’s been a great day, except for all the vomit”
-
Sport
Hayne pornography slammed as “inappropriate, poor quality”
New NRL Youth Development program fails to excite.
-
Sport
Local Cronulla muslim mistakes NRL celebration for another race riot
Long-time Cronulla residents suffered a severe case of deja vu upon finding the streets littered with drunken anglo revelers after the NRL grand final on Sunday night
-
Sport
Our Olympians are not fit enough, says most overweight nation in the world
In the wake of yet another disappointing Olympic campaign – where Australian sportspeople only ranked in the global top three a mere 29 times – the Australian government today announced that the Australian Institute of Sport headquarters in Canberra would be demolished to make way for the world’s largest-ever TAB.
-
Sport
Javelin expert really hoping to make the most out of these two weeks of work
Australian javelin expert Tim Nicholson has trailed into discussing his grievances at length during the live broadcast of the Javelin events on Channel 7. “I’ve really gotta make these two weeks count for something, or I’m in some serious trouble with some seriously dodgy people.” “None of this new generation seems to care about throwing spears…