Sport

“The stakes have never been higher.”

“She was a great sportswoman and may we never speak of her again.”

FOLLOWING Australia’s exit from the Cricket World Cup this morning, house-mates and co-workers of 21-year-old Leonard Boink have agreed to give him a day or two of serene enjoyment before reminding him that the month-and-a-half long Ashes series starts in just over a fortnight. “He was so happy this morning, I just couldn’t do it…

Following Bernard Tomic’s first round defeat in the French Open, a new episode of Tomic the Tank Engine has been released.

Morrison fell sharply in the polls stewards the most humane course of action was to bring in the curtains.

In a shock announcement, Steve Smith has announced that he will be staying in Canada permanently, because “at least the cricketers here know how to bat.”

Everything you need to know to get you to half-time, then who cares?

“It’s been a great day, except for all the vomit”