National

The Nine Network has blasted the Child Abduction team that remain in Lebanese custody. A spokesperson said the agency were highly unprofessional, “They should have known the laws, they should have known the inherent risks. I mean, we don’t even know why they even attempted such an operation.” The Nine Network paid the agency $69,000…

Award winning 60 Minutes journalist Tara Brown has pleaded ignorance regarding a botched child abduction attempt in Beirut. “I’m so sorry,” she told the packed courtroom. “I didn’t even know that Lebanon had laws.” Brown has so far spent 14 days in police custody. Breaking down in tears last night, Brown stated she had huge regrets.…

Malcolm Turnbull has vowed to go to a July 2 election in face of plunging support, a divided backbench, and nothing to legislate during the next three weeks of parliament. “Yep, it’s on July 2nd. Just like I said,” Mr Turnbull told reporters cheerfully. “The Senate called my bluff, and so I’m going to call theirs. Hah! That’ll…

Malcolm Turnbull has used the special sitting of parliament to argue that legislation to reinstate the Australian Building and Construction Commission is about protecting jobs, specifically his own. “By demonising construction workers and portraying them as dangerous thugs, we’ll be swept to victory in July,” said Mr Turnbull. “Plus, it’ll make it bit cheaper to…

Malcolm Turnbull has expressed “profound regret” for giving people the impression he ever cared about issues such as marriage equality, climate change, asylum seekers and funding of the public education system. “There seems to be some confusion that somehow I’m a hypocrite for backing away from my beliefs on those issues. But the truth is,…

Malcolm Turnbull has announced a radical plan that would see state premiers take responsibility for all aspects of the latest Newspoll, which recorded a plunge in support for the embattled coalition government. Mr Turnbull denied it had anything to do with his slide in the polls. “This has been a long time in the planning.…

“It’s hnnnngggg for the greater good.”