General News

[Edition 78] Before he began dieting, John McIntyre weighed a staggering 120kg. Now, after three months of careful dieting, he weighs a remarkable 119kg. And he’s a whole lot happier.

[Edition 76] BRISBANE, Tuesday The Make-A-Wish charity foundation has been thrown into turmoil by 17 year-old leukamia sufferer Matthew Burn’s wish that he be “painlessly killed”.

[Edition 76] GOSFORD, Sunday: Spectators were left stunned and there were calls forofficials to resign after this year’s “Air-Stravanganza” air show produced no spectacular fatalities.

[Edition 77] NEW YORK, Wednesday: The Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA) has achieved an emphatic victory in its war against music piracy, with a $3000 out of court settlement against a 12 year old girl. The RIAA is ecstatic over the settlement and believes that, while there is still a long way to go,…

[Edition 74] HOBART, Friday: A lonely Hobart man said he was excited yesterday to receive an email in his Hotmail account. The unpopular man, who has held the account for more than four years, said he’s never received an email before, and was caught completely off guard by its arrival.

[Edition 74] Hours of back-breaking work were made worthwhile today for Kenyan coffee picker Abuya Wakesa when she received her customer feedback forms from Starbucks. “Eighty-three percent of customers thought my beans were good,” said Wakesa from the comfort of her one-bedroom thatch hut. “It’s their satisfaction that gets me back out in the field…

[Edition 74] Residents of Bendigo woke today to find that a tornado had done half a million dollars worth of improvements to their town. Winds reached 130 kilometres per hour, cleaning up the streets and knocking down several of the town’s worst eyesores.

[Edition 74] Nayouf, remarkable for his unerring valour in the face of the the daunting US military machine, has begun to develop a pathological fear of reverse parking.