General News
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General News
Highway police finally targeting international tax fraud
After fifty years of targeting speeding, one year of targeting drink driving and one week of targeting seat belts, Western Sydney Highway Patrol have decided to finally start targeting International tax fraud. Constable Sarah Jackson stated that the bold move was a team decision, “It’s safe to say a lot of us were feeling ‘The…
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General News
McDonald’s franchisee decides on yellow and red colour scheme
Mr Palmer, a thrilled new franchisee, says that the yellow and red went well with the logo he decided to have for his new restaurant. “For some reason I had always imagined using a big yellow M, kind of like golden arches, for my McDonalds store.”
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General News
Bigotry enthusiast takes time off work to prepare for marriage plebiscite
Local man Sam Wallace has taken time off work in preparation for the upcoming marriage equality plebiscite. He told his employer his leave was for “personal reasons” but Wallace’s true plans are to throw himself into his favourite hobby: homophobic trolling of people who are gay, lesbian or transgender. Wallace – who sees himself as more of a…
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General News
Flatmates of ‘hilarious’ stoner student hope he moves out before he spirals into depression
A philosophy student at Melbourne University has decided to complete his Honour’s year while stoned.
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General News
Zoo claims Gorilla had ties to Islamic State
Cincinnati Zoo authorities have released new information that shows suspicious links between the gorilla killed on the weekend and Islamic State. But the zoo has denied it was attempting to quell the moral outrage that has followed the killing of Harambe – a silverback Gorilla who was shot after a child fell in his enclosure…
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General News
Anti-Vaxxer worried “obsessive” behaviours by her cat might be autism
An anti-vacciation advocate has told friends she fears obsessive behaviours in her cat, Mittens, might be autism developed following a recent flu shot the cat received. “She has closed herself off socially, embarrassing me in front of guests, while becoming awfully obsessed with her bright pink mouse toy. She just won’t listen to me. She never…
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General News
6 flashing gifs only epileptics won’t enjoy
Sometimes after a hard days work, all we really want to do is just veg out on the couch with a few flashing gifs, and who could blame you. Well thanks to some absolute genius on twitter called @dailyFlasher, we can now all get our daily gif fix delivered straight to our twitter stream while…
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General News
Introducing ChaserBank – helping High Net Worth individuals in this difficult time
Here at The Chaser, we’ve been flooded with calls all morning from Presidents, Prime Ministers, CEOs, Heads of Ethics Committees for Sporting bodies and their “friends” worried about the outrageous levels of transparency and accountability that the leaks from Mossack Fonseca & Co might spur. Our response has been one of enormous empathy. Put yourself in the…
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General News
A note from The Chaser’s Chief Financial Officer (pro tem)
Following the disappearance of The Chaser’s Chief Financial Officer, the following statement was issued in the latest issue of The Chaser Quarterly, which hits bookstores on 24th March 2016: Welcome to the second issue of The Chaser Quarterly. Your correspondent was asked to contribute these words at short notice due to the continued absence of the…