General News

“What will we do now?”

A Melbourne businessman claims his recent purchase of the “Big Issue” was due to his interest in the magazine’s editorial content. “It looked like an interesting issue,” said the man, who adamantly denied the purchase was an attempt to assuage guilt about his relative wealth. The 38-year-old man, who purchased the magazine in Collins Street’s…

JUST weeks before the launch of digital adaptations of ‘The Lion King’ and ‘Aladdin’, the Walt Disney Company has again left fans divided after beginning their promotional campaign for an updated edition of ‘The Hunchback of Notre Dame’ by burning down the building in question. “It’s all part of our brand new corporate strategy,” said…

Delivering daily bullshit since 1879

Our audio producer / genius — Brendan “BT” Tacey — is in the running to be declared the best in the world. Yes. IN THE WORLD. But we need your help.

The state election reached it’s inevitable conclusion tonight after premier Gladys Berejiklian declared victory over once again state opposition leader Michael Daley. Berejiklian was cheered on by her constituents as she wasted no time in outlining the work that needed to be done. “The people of NSW have spoken and I have heard them!” declared…

22-year-old Simon Getz has learned his fate this morning after a verdict was handed down after just 2 days. In a trial that had garnered national attention, the jury wasted no time in finding Getz guilty after hearing of his horrific crimes. “You have shown no remorse for your actions even going as far as…

“We have to protect the children”

Australia’s capital relocated from Melbourne to Canberra in 1927. But why was it moved? And why Canberra? We reveal the details of a little-known meeting between the nation’s parliamentarians, as described in letters written by government minister Charles Kingston.