With Christmas comes the inevitable ‘quirky’ cousin who shows up to lunch in an ugly sweater to show off how much they love Christmas, however this year they already hate that they chose to buy it. Most years it takes a couple hours of wearing the abomination of a jumper to regret the decision however due to the historically high heat this year, they came to their senses as soon as they realised they would be wearing it.
Although every Christmas in Australia is hot, previous years cousins around the country still managed to remain optimistic about the idea of putting on the sweater. They get enjoyment from the multiple conversations that the sweaters bring, like “hey, nice sweater” or “I like the sweater” or even “looking festive” to which all responses are “thanks”, the possibilities for 2 sentence conversations seem to be limitless. Sadly, this year they came to the realisation that maybe the conversations may not be worth it.
However, despite these factors, for a yet unknown reason cousins around the country still chose to wear the sweaters and will attempt to hide their internal suffering with a forced grin instead.
“I do it every year,” said local cousin Sarah, “people love it cause its fun. We can’t have Christmas without it right? Yep, totally love wearing these sweaters.”
“No, it isn’t never too hot to put one on,” claims James another local cousin, “Every year it’s Summer and I wear one, this year is no exception. I mean sure I might be sweating like crazy and the design may not seem worth it to most people, but um… I just have to wear one ok!”
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