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Contractors guarding Melbourne quarantine hotels organise huge party to say sorry for second wave
It will celebrate the one-millonth person tested for Covid
Victoria agrees to be 51st state of USA: immediately becomes ‘best performing state in the country’
Not a bad idea
350 billion people attend Trump rally
The number is higher than the population of the human race
Trump angry he can’t rage tweet as 5G network fails to work from underground bunker
Trump called for physics to be defunded
Government announces stimulus package for home burglars unable to work from other’s homes
The move has been praised by the Australian Burglars Union. 
Coles “12 items or less” checkout worker made redundant
Nobody had used the lane in three weeks
Shorten starting to feel he was the winner of the last election
Shorten was spotted on the weekend watering the garden of his Moonee Ponds home, rather than in back-to-back crisis meetings making life or death decisions that have no good answer
Pope slaps Scott Morrison after he tries to force handshake
"What a horrible man!"
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