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Woolworths responds to Dutton’s calls for a boycott by boycotting potatoes
In an unprecedented move, Woolworths’ CEO Bradford Banducci has pulled all potatoes from their the supermarket’s shelves. The move comes after federal leader of the Death Eaters Peter Dutton urged Australia to boycott Woolworths after they stopped stocking ‘Australia Day’ merchandise no one was buying.

Woolworths staff were seen hurriedly removing all potato related products from their shelves with reports that hundreds of opened and crushed packets of Smith’s Chips had nearly filled the small bin of the staff break-room.

“I find this whole thing very unappealing!” said Dutton boiling with rage and almost ready to mash, “This is a serious issue. That is why I have taken out my serious issue podium that I only take out whenever I want the media to give me wall to wall coverage. And this is the issue that I have decided will be the one we all focus on today.”
Sources who wish to remain anonymous out of fear of being associated with Dutton, said they were surprised with how much of a hard line Dutton is taking on this issue as most of mainstream Australia don’t seem to have ‘giant grocery store chain had decided to stop selling the same cobwebbed Australia Day merchandise that had sat in storage since 2009’ as their most important issue happening in the world right now.
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