Archive for 2007

Mentally ill Carpet Court employee taken off pricing duties
"We all assumed he was supposed to be there, since he was in costume," said director Brad Pearen. "No-one realised Craig was in serious need of professional help."
Report card accurately predicts child’s future
Westwood, who found his old report in a plastic crate while looking for a bottle of bourbon he had hidden from his wife, described the commentary as "eerily prescient"
Discovery of shallow grave ends 18-year search for Wally
According to an unnamed source, the corpse was dressed in a faded, bloodstained red-and-white jumper, wearing round-rimmed glasses, and buried with a cane
God dismisses gambling-related prayer
Local man Clive Deville says the event has shaken his faith "in the entire Judeo-Christian ethos."
Son finds dad’s porn collection ‘disappointing’
"It's pretty tame."
Creative anachronist would last five seconds in Middle Ages
History enthusiast Brendan "Sir Lysander" Hanrahan, would likely be dead within moments of arriving in the middle ages, say experts
Andrew Johns soils Rugby League’s untarnished image
Rugby League fans were shocked this week, by the unbelievable revelation that an overpaid, understimulated sportsman with plenty of free
Trivia buff humiliated on popular quiz show
"I don't know what happened," said Sugden, ""My team, The Dukes Of Ale, always take home the $50 drink voucher at Trivia Madness down at the Oxford on Fridays."
Peter Andre happy to have songs illegally downloaded
"Someone on youtube said the Mysterious Girl filmclip is ‘still da best!!!'. You can't buy that kind of publicity"
Harry Potter ends: children stop reading
"I'll be saying ‘avada kedavra' to my interest in books"