The Liberal Party have announced a new member of the opposition front bench after poaching Luis Rubiales from his role as the President of the Royal Spanish Football Federation.
This comes after Rubiales refused to resign after being caught on camera kissing World Cup winner Jenni Hermoso without consent before threatening to sue her for saying she didn’t consent to the kiss, labelling her a ‘liar’ which lead to protests that he has described as ‘false feminism’. The series of events has reportedly left the man just disgraced enough for the current federal coalition.
“If anything he is too qualified,” said Leader of Opposing Peter Dutton, “I’ve never seen such a perfect fit for our front bench. He and Barnaby will get on great.”
“I mean not only threatening to sue the employee who accused him of sexual assault, but also suing Wikipedia demanding they take down any reference to anything bad he has ever done. Now that is the kind of man our party is looking for to bring us to new heights.”
Reports suggest that he will be starting with the traditional portfolio for men like him as shadow Attorney General, however many party insiders have said that, “with his history he is clearly a future leader in the making.”
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