Prime Minister Anthony Albanese, who grew up in government-funded housing, has told Australians facing soaring rents and threats of eviction that the quality of government housing is much better now than when he was growing up.

“Kiribilli House has a wonderful view, and I’ve even got room for a pool room at The Lodge,” he boasted to reporters. “It’s much better than the pokey little place they gave us in Camperdown when I was growing up. I don’t know why people are so worried.”

The comments come in the wake of a new report out today that says there is not a single affordable house to rent anywhere in Australia for people who relying on government support.

“If only there was some sort of institution, a government for example, that could provide more government housing. And if only the person in charge of that institution was willing to fund more government housing. It would really help the housing crisis.”

Mr Albanese, who, in case you missed it, grew up in government housing, told reporters that he had grown up in government housing. And that by growing up in government housing, he knew what it was like to grow up in government housing, and how important it was to have lots of it.

“I grew up in government housing,” he said to underscore the fact that he grew up in government housing (just in case anyone had missed the fact that he grew up in government housing). “I understand what it is like to need government housing.

“But I suppose the difference is, I also understand what it’s like to then have a government that then delivers more housing. Unfortunately, for some reason, you guys don’t have that. If only there was someone in charge who could do something about that.”

When pressed about the fact that he was now in charge, Mr Albanese pointed out that he believed in keeping his election promises, and that one of the key planks of his campaign was to talk about growing up in government housing, and that he was constantly keeping that promise.

Asked whether that meant he was going to do anything to build more houses, Mr Albanese said he did think it was necessary. “I was resoundingly elected to do the bare minimum required to keep the Coalition out of government. That’s a promise I intend to keep. If I start doing more than the bare minimum, then there’s no telling where that will end up. You think I’m going to risk my access to these harbour views by doing something politically difficult. No way. I’m going to keep my head down and hold onto this pad as long as I possibly can.”