Albanese threatens to stop adding thank you notes in weapons shipments to Israel

Following the IDF attack on refugee camps in Rafah, the Australian government have said they are ‘deeply concerned’ with Israel’s actions, just not concerned enough by the deaths of an estimated 28,000 people in just under 130 days to not supply the weapons being used in the attacks.

“We have made our position very clear,” said Prime Minister Albanese, “I just sent a message directly to Prime Minister Netanyahu telling him in no uncertain terms that if he doesn’t change tactics and start preserving civilian lives, I will consider not adding a thank you not in the next weapons shipment.”

“And he knows that I am very serious about my concerns, because this time I didn’t end the text message with a heart hands emoji. Don’t worry, I did ask Joe Biden for approval before taking such a drastic step.”

“Stopping the supply of these notes is a major potential step is one that I am not taking lightly, it’s not something we can just do on a whim like say cutting funding to UN humanitarian efforts in Gaza because Israel told us to without any evidence to prove that we should cut the funding. We were planning to use that saved aid funding to add a bouquet of flowers to the next note for Valentines Day, but now we might not.”

“To those at home upset by our response, please remember that this issue is very complicated. It is about more than just months of violence and the endless slaughtering of civilians, including tens of thousands of children, it’s also about Australian business. Doesn’t it fill you with national pride to know that the weapons killing these defenceless men, women and children were made right here in Australia?”

Foreign Affairs Minister Penny Wong has also put out a statement saying that Australia supports the notion of a ceasefire in the region, “on the condition that our buddies in Israel decide they want a ceasefire due to how tired they get from all the effort that goes into drone striking schools and hospitals. We would hate to see our allies get all tuckered out.”

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