Woolies CEO Brad Banducci asks if embarrassing retirement announcement can be taken off the record

Woolworths CEO and muppet James Bond villain, Brad Banducci has asked the media to treat his retirement announcement as ‘off the record’.

This request was made 30 seconds after announcing his retirement following a discussion with his media advisers who realised how embarrassing it would be to storm out of his job days after storming out of a 4Corners interview.

“You’re not going to use that right?” said the multi-millionaire. “Come on, I know the announcement of a CEO leaving the moment a government investigation into the company’s actions launches might seem newsworthy to you, but it would look bad for me so I assume we can just scrub the record on that right?”

“This is just basically me self-checking-out my career, what kind of monster would force a camera on someone while they self-checkout?”

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