Prince Andrew has released a statement expressing his profound grief at the king’s recent cancer diagnosis taking the title of ‘Royal Cancer’ from him.

“Yesterday everyone was calling me a cancer,” said Prince Andrew,  “but now the family has another cancer that will steal the spotlight.”

‘I am sick of being in my older brother’s shadow. I finally get international fame and suddenly he is now the one people think of when they think of uncomfortable arseholes and malignant growths, it’s not right!’

The King is currently undergoing treatment for cancer and has retreated to Buckingham palace for the time being. A move which Prince Andrew claims the King has taken from him and his efforts hiding from the FBI.