Government adds literal hoops to jump through in order to receive NDIS funding

In response to the NDIS being needlessly difficult to apply for, the government has introduce new steps to the NDIS to make it harder to receive funding. The latest step that has been announced is an obstacle course with literal hoops all applicants must jump through in order to receive funding. “How great are hoops?” said the PM after telling disabled people how photo-ops work because he wasn’t sure if they knew how they get used all the time, “We all love a good challenge, and I think it’s about time we challenge the differently-abled weirdos too. They have had it too easy for too long I reckon.” “Not only that I reckon there is probably a fraud problem. It seems far too easy for proper people to steal money from the NDIS that is meant for the lesser-powered people. All you would have to do is convince doctors and government officials that you need money and boom, maybe you might get some. So the harder we make it the more money we will save so that we can give it to those who need it, like Gina, Rupert or Angus Taylor’s brother.” “How this will work is once the mutantly-other people finish their 1-3 hour chat with a stranger because doctors having knowledge on a patient makes them bias, they will be sent to the obstacle course to complete the challenge. If they can jump through the flaming hoops, they don’t get funding because they can do it, and if they can’t they won’t get funding because they failed. How good are eligibility tests!” The PM has also hit back at the claims by basically every disability organisation in the country that have claimed he didn’t consult them on the changes saying: “We spoke to an expert on the inspirational-wannabe-people, the musician Sia. Based on what I have seen in our media, she must be the best in the business.”

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