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Police confused why they’re not being celebrated at traditional protest against police brutality

A spokesperson for the NSW Police has been left dumbfounded after Mardi Gras organisers rescinded their invite to march in the parade that traditionally honours people who protested under intense police brutality.

“So much for inclusion,” said the police commissioner while wearing an upside pride flag pin, “do these people not realise that blue is a colour on the rainbow? Not being actively celebrated at this parade is the worst thing to happen to the Police community.”

“Blue lives matter as much as rainbow lives, we just have more power and the ability to shoot them. Truly we’re all equals as long as everyone obeys the laws we wrote down, and as long as we stay in a good mood.”

“These people seem more interested in accountability rather than celebrating that time we didn’t shoot them all, I mean whatever happened to letting the past stay in the past? These events the haters are hating us over happened were days ago, you can’t judge us for what we are doing this week.”

“I mean we barely kill any queer people anymore and we haven’t illegally strip searched festival going teenagers for ages, while there hasn’t been festivals. What more do you people want?”

The NSW government has responded the decision from Mardi Gras organisers by demanding a $200K ‘police cancellation’ fee to provide counselling for police who will be missing out on marching and instead will have to just join the rest of their police friends working that night to intimidate random parade goers.

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