Scott Morrison has today taken time off from his time off to do a final photo shoot of the year, this time surrounded by his loved ones — a series of lumps of coal.
“How great is it to spend time with the ones you love?” said the PM while hugging a big lump of coal. “2020 has been a tough year, for me especially. I mean Federal Parliament sat a whole 54 days this year. It’s about time I finally got another holiday.”
Mr Morrison said he didn’t understand why people were complaining about the recession that has seen 800,000 people lose their jobs this year. “I don’t get what the unemployed people are complaining about, staying home is the best. If anything they should be thanking my government. This is living the dream.”
“You know, as a parent you aren’t meant to choose a favourite, and that’s how I feel. I love all my coal equally. They are the most important thing in the world to me, my coal are the light of my life. It’s good to get this opportunity to reconnect with my coal, because to be honest things were a bit rocky when Angus announced the gas power plan but luckily gas power is essentially the same as coal power at this point so it was easy to reconnect with coal. But I can’t imagine my life without my coal, I mean would I even be prime minister if it wasn’t for the coal lobby pushing me forward and holding me up? I am getting a bit emotional just thinking about it.”
But it wasn’t all happy times for the PM and his coal, he told us about some of the disappointment that has occurred this year.
“We couldn’t have everything we wanted this Christmas. This year we are stuck in boring old Australia, we wanted to go to Hawaii it didn’t feel right to go there because Australia wasn’t being destroyed by flames. Fingers crossed for next year though. With the help of all this coal, I reckon there is a decent chance of next year being the perfect conditions for a Hawaii trip.”