General News
Drug market captured by new ‘stronger’ placebo

[Edition 27] FLORIDA, Thursday: Drug company Pfizer, well known for its impotence drug Viagra, has again captured the US drug market with the release of its new ‘double strength’ placebo.

Pfizer claims its new placebo contains twice as many inert and inactive ingredients as normal placebos. They claim that the psychophysiological effects of its new placebo mean that patients generally believe themselves to be cured in half the time.

“All of our research has shown that the secret lies in the size of the pill,” said one Pfizer researcher. “Our pill hurts like hell when you swallow it, so patients are sure that it must be doing them some kind of good.”

Medical associations believe that the new placebo may make serious inroads into the growing problem of hypochondria in America.

“Hypochondria has proven to be one of the hardest to counter diseases in the US,” claimed Dr Johnson, a general practitioner in Chicago. “We think that this double strength placebo may really get to the core of the problem.”


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