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Alan Joyce resigns to spend more time waiting for his flight

Qantas CEO and billionaire JobKeeper recipient Alan Joyce has announced that he is resigning in order to spend more time waiting for delayed flights.

While Joyce’s departure from Qantas has been scheduled for today, no one knows when he will actually take off after you factor in delays and cancellations.

“I am excited to be able to focus on what I love,” said Joyce, “when I realised there was one more job I could cut to save some money, I was thrilled to jump at the opportunity.”

“This job had many ups and downs. The fun of cancelling flights was always counterbalanced by the sad reality that I would have to wine and dine with politicians, who are some of the worst people on the planet.”

UPDATE: Qantas has announced that they have lost Joyce’s resignation letter in transit and they say they will let Australia know once they find it.


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