Alan Joyce remains as CEO of Qantas after his resignation letter was lost by baggage handlers

Awkward scenes from Qantas today as professional politician backscratcher Alan Joyce is set to remain as CEO after his resignation letter was lost in transit.

This error has left Qantas customers rolling their eyes at what is being seen as yet another departure being cancelled by the airline.

“This is outrageous,” said Joyce while waiting in the hour long customer service queue, “how could this have even happened? I put the letter in my suitcase and put the tag on the bag, what do they mean they don’t know where it is? What kind of show are they running here?”

“We were so looking forward to having a female CEO too,” said a Qantas board member, “and then the male one that will come in 5-10 years after she takes the fall for whatever is left of the mess she was going to inherent. A tradition for major companies in peril as well as a temporary win for diversity.”

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