General News

Reports suggest the area has seen a sudden spike in knifing related incidents.

“Premier Allan has left me a note reminding you all that your actions represent the state and to treat me like you did her,”

“The Matrix is out to get me and force me to cover up my ankles.”

“He is clearly dangerous and needs to either be deported or put down humanely.”

We continue the decades long loop of media and politicians acknowledging the widespread issue, before falling short of doing anything about it.

“We never voted for outages. Yet another lie.”

“When Belgium becomes the 51st state, it gets us back in the World Cup.”

“Any other weekend would already be ruined by being up before 6am on Saturday, but the World Cup is different.”

“It would have been nice if they at least held me for questioning after seeing the posts I share.”

“That’s exactly what I love to see in politics.” said the slightly confused president.