“The Matrix is trying to force me to wear clothes that fit” yells Andrew Tate

Lynx Deodorant personified, Andrew Tate has released a statement following his arrest, claiming the entire thing is a conspiracy to try to force him to wear clothes that fit.

This comes as the prison refused to make his orange jumpsuit four sizes too small and replace the bottom half with chinos that barely cover the knee.

“This place is hell,” said Andrew Tate, “it’s clear that the Matrix is out to get me and force me to cover up my ankles.”

“I’ve forced women to do a lot of things, but never have I forced anyone to wear warm clothes. It’s inhumane.”