National

National

“Those poor Fyre Islanders!” says nation celebrating day we took over an island & fucked over the locals

“We should probably say sorry and then do nothing else.”
National

Arnott’s continue ‘Aussie Legends’ line with Aerogard-flavoured Shapes

The snack has already received a ringing endorsement from the Prime Minister, who insisted that they be served at citizenship ceremonies nationwide.
National

Replica Endeavour seized by Australian Border Force: crew detained on Nauru

The Prime Minister said the crew of recent NIDA graduates dressed in 18th century garb, would be detained on Nauru indefinitely.
National

Family driving back from holiday ready to unleash 16 year old on highway

“It’s probably the safest time to be on the road”
National

Moro Bars prepare for months-long stay in back of fridge

“It’s a pretty sad state of affairs when you’re the last one in the bowl, especially after Nan has come and taken all of the Turkish Delight.”
National

Everyone now understands why George Christensen opposed safe schools

Mr Christensen has long called for Australia to return to less safe schools, which he much prefers.
National

Office conversation spiced up by slightly inclement weather

“How bout that weather eh?”
National

Oniongate – How it happened

Bunnings stores have banned onions from being on top on the sausage sizzles. Here is a chilling audio documentary about how it all unfolded on one fateful day last September.
National

SJW confined to bedrest after two days of ‘world-changing’ Facebook posts

“Now I know what a racehorse feels like – the ones that don’t get shot I mean.”
National

Rich trendies take up petrol sniffing: ‘So expensive it must be good’

SYDNEY, Wednesday: Drug-fuelled hipsters are opting for a new type of premium party high.