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Singapore braces itself for onslaught of stern disapproval from Australians

singapore_thumb_1.jpgThe Singaporean government has resigned itself to receiving futile condemnation from trendy, Australian left-wingers for at least one news cycle, following its execution of Australian drug trafficker Nguyen Tuong Van. The Singaporean Foreign Minister has warned citizens they will be the subject of lengthy dinner party critiques, motions of censure from university student councils and as many as a hundred Letters to the Editor from across Australia.

The Singaporean government has resigned itself to receiving futile condemnation from trendy, Australian left-wingers for at least one news cycle, following its execution of Australian drug trafficker Nguyen Tuong Van. The Singaporean Foreign Minister has warned citizens they will be the subject of lengthy dinner party critiques, motions of censure from university student councils and as many as a hundred Letters to the Editor from across Australia.

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Singapore has formed an alliance with fellow barbarians, the United States, to deflect self-righteousness the American way

“This will be a tough time for our nation,” announced Singaporean Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong. “Lazy opinion writers will launch an unprecedented assault upon us of cliches and motherhood statements. Not to mention the enormous damage caused by people standing silently outside our embassy. Thankfully we can expect some support from Australia’s controversialists, cab drivers and racists.”

The attacks upon Singapore have already begun. “I am quite prepared to label the Singaporean government ‘brutal’”, said one commentator. “And if they continue to hang people like this, I won’t hesitate to call them ‘barbaric’. I really won’t.”

Consumer activist, Wilma Long has called for a boycott of Singapore in response to their treatment of Nguyen. “From now on, I won’t be purchasing a single item that was produced in, owned by or has travelled through Singapore. Unfortunately I have no idea what those products are, but if someone tells me about one I won’t be buying it.”

Jamie Rivers, 28, has declared he will be boycotting partly Singaporean owned telco Optus. “It’s the right thing to do,” he said. “And given their poor reception, quite sensible too.”

The Singaporean Prime Minister also pointed to other negative repercussions being felt from Nguyen’s execution. “I’ve had to meet with John Howard three times and Alexander Downer twice in the last three weeks because of this hanging. Who’s supposed to be being punished – Nguyen or me?”

The Singaporean Opposition was unwilling to comment on this, or any other issue.

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