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Ruddock defends use of tear gas: ‘I had to appear compassionate somehow’

[Edition 40] CANBERRA, Wednesday: Immigration Minister Phillip Ruddock has defended his use of tear gas to control his worsening problems with Australian detention centres. Ruddock admitted he used the tear gas before a press conference called to respond to claims of beatings in the Curtin detention centre.

[Edition 40] CANBERRA, Wednesday: Immigration Minister Phillip Ruddock has defended his use of tear gas to control his worsening problems with Australian detention centres. Ruddock admitted he used the tear gas before a press conference called to respond to claims of beatings in the Curtin detention centre.

“Tear gas was a last resort but it really had to be used,” said Ruddock. “I spent the whole morning trying to care about these refugees but just couldn’t do it.”

“I even tried to think about the death of my dog to make me seem compassionate, but even that was pretty funny,” Ruddock added with a smile.

The Minister’s office claims that Ruddock will refrain from such extreme acts in the future.

“Next time he is meant to care we will just get him to poke himself in the eye,” said one adviser. “That seemed to work quite well when he had to seem concerned after that Pakistani guy burnt himself to death.”