British Museum completely empty after demand that all stolen items be returned

Awkward scenes from the British Museum after it has been completely emptied following the head of the museum’s public plea for all stolen items to be returned.

“This is not what we meant,” said the head of the museum, “we meant the stuff stolen from us not the stuff we stole from everyone else. Ever since we stole this stuff, we have been the traditional owners and we deserve to have it all back.”

” What happened to society? When we stole this stuff, we didn’t sneakily remove things, we did it the more noble way by killing millions of people, destroying cultures and trying to subjugate the entire world. Everyone should have to give it back.”

In response, countries around the world have announced that they will help in the search for all the stolen stolen items. With one diplomat telling the museum, “yeah we try our hardest to find the religious artifact that my ancestors treasured for thousands of years for you, and we will definitely maybe consider giving back to you. Also for security reasons we should probably look after the King’s crown, as it also has our stuff on it and gosh we just really want to protect our stuff for you.”